Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i out mim tonsoeep
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