the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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