Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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