Heybabeimwearingurpanties
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
