We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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