tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
where does the pee come out of this thing
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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