She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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