I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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