Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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