He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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