This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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