I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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