Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
