He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize