Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
