even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize