New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize