Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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