I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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