No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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