the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize