You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
