I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize