yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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