You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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