umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
