Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
