some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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