ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
