He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
