After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize