I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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