Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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