You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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