id be glad to
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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