I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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