Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
