I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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