talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
