Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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