Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
