So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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