Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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