how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
