She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
