Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
