She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i out mim tonsoeep
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