Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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