so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
