Too much gin, very little bucket
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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