what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
