just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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