Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
