Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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