What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
