so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
so much tequila, so little girl.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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