please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
