It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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